#a long ramble

[possibility-for-joy]

During the end of November's sales, I bought books. I told myself that I would use my holiday break to read. I knew I needed some quiet, but pleasant, time to enjoy my break. I got a couple of books I have had in my "to read list" for awhile, but this post is about a book I picked without giving much thought.

Ali Hazelwood's books have been a phenomenon for half a decade and I had read "The Love Hypothesis" back when it first come out and I was not a fan. Back then, it simply didn't click for me. After I learned it was a fanfic adaptation I told myself it was because I simply never liked anything related to Star Wars and I should just move on.

I didn't even think about her writing again until I was browsing books to buy last month. Again, it was a sale, the book was half of its original price and I quite enjoyed the summary, so I decided to give "Love, Theoretically" a chance. I didn't have any high expectations. It is a romance novel, not meant to be a deep read, just a fun time, but somehow I connected to it in ways I did not expect.

Elsie and her web of lies, not done maliciously, but rather out of need or out of fear of not achieving the expectations placed on her (by herself or by others); how her people pleasing behavior led her connections to not be as sincere as they appeared to be; how her lack of boundaries made her lose herself for a moment; how finding her voice in an authentic way did not make her lose people but rather brought more meaningful connections to her (personal and professional) life were, in an unexpected way, very relatable to me.

I have read the book twice already and I also gave "The Love Hypothesis" a new chance. Turns out, I also loved it.

So... this is all to say that reading "Love, Theoretically" gave me some new perspectives.

And since it is the very beginning of the year, I have decided to write some of them down.

For 2025, I wish:

to give second chances

To open up for the possibility of changing my mind, including about things I disliked because they might surprise me in a positive way

to grant myself (and others) grace

To not be ashamed of making mistakes, to see mistakes as part of life To apologize, when necessary; to accept an apology when it comes my way To see mistakes as a tool to learn and as a chance to improve from To not seek pusnishment, simply forgiveness

to be more curious, less judgemental

To not approach life filled with certitudes, but rather with curiosity. It is not hypocritical to say that I now love a book I once disliked (or vice-versa), it means I was open to change perspectives I can (and should) apply the same logic for other aspects of life

to find my authentic self

To stop trying to mold myself to the expectations people have of me. To find myself able to express what I like and what I dislike without caring to someone else's opinion To be able to be who i am

Let's see how it goes...

[severevoiddragon]

AAAAAA Nimonaaaaaaa

An essay on details I've noticed and liked on my 3rd watch through, Spoilers Ahead if you still haven't seen it! :D

First of all, out of all the forms she could have been for her "default" form, Nimona picked the form they did, short and chubby. As a chubby girl, I like how she evidently likes being that shape, because they're a shapeshifter, and can LITERALLY TURN INTO A WHALE.

Idk if I'm reading too much into this but I noticed that everyone has a Shape for their eye reflections: Ballister a square; Ambrosius an inverted triangle; The Director, Gloreth (and other Institution people) a diamond; Nimona an S shape. However, as the movie goes on and more people think Nimona is a monster - including herself - their eye reflections turn into diamonds. Like those who hate Monsters. It's important to note that I don't think this is just a "MCs have funky eye highlights but we forgot to animate it for the Giant Nimona Scene", BC the random people have different eye highlights until Everyone Thinks She's a Monster. Then, when people realise she's Not, their eye highlights change, notably that little girl and her mum, who now have inverted traingles (iirc, don't quote me on this). I feel it was intentional and, to fit the themes of the movie, you will see what you want to see. Ambrosius and Ballister and Nimona all have unique perspectives, Ambrosius' aligning more with the People, Ballister's aligning with an altered perspective of the Institute (like, he used to think it was good, but his reality's been shifted), and Nimona has a totally different perspective, as her eye highlights have curves (which!!! Noone else does!!!!) Idk I'm just rambling bout a detail

That's all I wanna say that hasn't already been said tbh, I hope someone else noticed this/has an Opinion on this! (I may be completely wrong tbh)

(ps if I remember I may add photos but don't hold your breath-)

[killingg-eve]

.

I was watching a rly good fancam (or whatever you want to call it), yesterday, on Twitter. And it brought back all my emotions about KE for the first time since the finale (// soon after the finale).

I realized that at some point, without meaning to, i blocked out KE and became numb to it. I kno it sounds really dramatic and whatever. But for the past 2 years, I've been wondering why I couldn't feel anything or write anything anymore. Yet, i knew i had to still have these characters around me somehow? So i have stickers in/on my planner, i have stuff on my work desk, i have art hanging in my bedroom. I needed them around me but I couldn't feel anything anymore.

It's also weird bc i know the whole story of the show after watching it 5-6 times, but it feels like lost memories at the same time.

In conclusion my brain is weird, the finale was associated with more pain than i anticipated or perceived of immediately after its airing, KE is actually like a giant wound even tho that sounds dramatic and unreal, and it's like a source of actual irl grief that has gone latent in my mind even tho i love it and would rather continue to engage, write, etc..

I'm not even necessarily mad anymore that they killed Villanelle, but i do wonder, what was the impact of the fact that we all watched that blindly?? Based on everything I've written here, it's Not looking good. Plus i had IRL trauma the day before it aired, so........💀

[megthemariner]

@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / bone deep, m.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / unknown / 60 hours, m.v.e / @itsblackleader / Salt, Nayyirah Waheed / @heavensghost

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[witnessprotectionprogramurl]

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[aesethewitch]

When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.

Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.

So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.

Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.

One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.

It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."

The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.

Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.

It missed my lilac by inches.

The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.

I think next year, I'll see flowers.

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[violettressedd]

want to show a girl who thinks she's unloveable that she's this worlds' greatest gift

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[anishenanigans]

[guy whose heart is an autoclave voice] yeah man lately ive just been feeling like this great unstable mass of blood and foam yknow

[cavalierclavier]

When I broke the cycle, I made sure that the tear was rough. You carry a part of what should be her, and she carries a part of what should be you.

[genlossranbooautism]

You use "arospec people can still date and feel romantic attraction " as an excuse to ship cannon aro characters , I use it as justification to headcannon characters who canonically feel romantic attraction as arospec , we are not the same

[townofcrosshollow]

Shocked how many people think you can just turn on a computer and leave it on for weeks or months or years and never turn it off and it'll be fine. Computers need their sleep, and sleep mode does not count

[logorrhea5mip]

Sorry for the bad photo quality, Tumblr doesn't like posts this long.